February 14

It’s just past midnight, in the early hours of Valentines day. I’m in MY chair, in MY house, with MY tiki torch outside; yet none of it is mine, not really. At any moment God can say, “Daughter, that’s an idol. I’ll give it to someone else because my good gifts I give you have replaced the good gift of me.” And in that moment, He gives the good gifts of surety, trust, and faith, and my heart weeps for the times I’ve traded down for myself, rather than up to be with Him.

The calm whirr of the fan, the incessant chatter of the bugs, the thump of the moths on the windows…it all becomes soothing to my weary soul.

Weary is a result of self-sufficiency. I don’t need Jesus time. I don’t need to pray. Look at me, I have it figured out. It’s at the end of stretching that you realize self-sufficiency has no recoil. There’s nothing to pull you back to the beginning because all you are has been dumped out and stretched far.

That’s the true JOY of where Christ comes in. He brings Grace, Strength, Goodness, Overflowing riches. The pendulum can’t make itself swing and continue, but a force greater than within. You cannot sustain yourself, but must look to a force greater than you.

Christ in Me:

All I need,

Grace over-flowing,

Restores me.

Spontaneous nature,

Of His rich streaming Love,

He opens my eyes

To His things above.

Rest Soar Thrive

December, the month where everything is supposed to be joyful, yet is often consumed in thoughts of what needs to be done so everyone is happy and has a good time. 

I was laying upstairs at my brothers house in the guest bedroom taking a breather and asking my Father what He desired for us this year and He gave me 3 words. 

REST          SOAR            THRIVE

My first thought was that they are contradicting (and not productive resolutions). Doesn't God want us to do things for Him? The more we do the more we glorify Him????...wrong. 

The more we Rest in Him, the more He can do through us. (Note the source. Me vs God) Psalm 46:10 has always been the craziest verse and best reminder to me. In context, I realize that the entire chapter, before and after verse 10, the country is in war. How is that restful?

God calls us, YOU & ME, to REST in Him in the midst of chaos. It is during that time we can hear His still small voice speak to us, the Holy Spirit rejuvenates our spirit, and peace fills us.

How often do we trade Inner Peace with Outer Chaos for Outer Peace with Inner Chaos??? 

"...We shall mount up on wings like Eagles and SOAR...."

Sounds cool, right? Have you ever seen an eagle soar? In Iowa my parents have bald eagle nests behind their house so we get to see them soar when visiting. I was watching them last week and had a startling revelation (or two). 

-Soaring is taking a vulnerable pose, placing complete trust in something you can't see, and not beating your own resoures. Soaring always points to God. How cool is His creation!

"Abide in me and I in you...anyone who does shall bear fruit."

Fruit? I want fruit! I want people to look at me and go wow, look at what she has done, such creativity, productivity, and value. But that is not what fruit does. Fruit always points back to it's source. 

Fruit speaks of a deeper nourishment (at least the yummy fruit does). Fruit speaks of a tree that is thriving.

In layman's terms: Plug into Jesus and you will Thrive.

Rest in Him 

Soar with Him

Thrive by Him

This is living. This is life. Pointing to Jesus. 

Just Remember:

-Just because Eagles can SOAR, doesn't mean they always do, sometimes they REST and in this they can THRIVE.

Give Up

OVERWHELMING!
How else does one describe Victory in Jesus?
Do you feel like a winner?
Life is not based on feelings,
Life is based on fact...on TRUTH.
Jesus is the victor and we are rejoicing Warriors in His army.
Do Not Worry;
This bogs your mind and clouds your view of Jesus' face.
Do Not Be Discouraged;
This takes your eyes off the prize.
Do Not Fear;
This paralyzed your ability to Trust.
Do Not Break Unity;
This is your source of encouragement.
And lastly,
Do Not Give Up....

But if you MUST GIVE UP,

Give up your Worries,
For Jesus' yoke is easy and burden is light.

Give up Discouragement,
For Courage is stepping forward in Faith in the Lord's Strength.

Give up Fear,
For God IS LOVE, and in Love there is NO Fear.

And lastly,
Give up self-achieved human Perfection,
It is in our imperfection that our Heavenly Father refines us and receives all of the Glory for His work, His Strength, His goodness, His faithfulness, His Excellence.

So maybe we should all start with
GIVING UP..............

My Vice- Books

It's within the pages of a book that I find a force stronger than any drug I could imagine.

I can be anyone-a peasant struggling to keep her family feed with her meager earnings, or a mother doing the routine life , or a duchess who wears the jewels that catch the sunlight a million ways yet struggles to learn they don't define her, or an orphan going the disjointed disbelief of being alone.

I can be anywhere- a dirty shack cooking over an open fire, on a trail west in a wagon, revisiting the vineyards of Italy or retracing my steps through the Barcelona museums.

I can be anything- the linguistic lover, changing languages as easy as changing carbon dioxide to oxygen, or a doctor who fights the Spanish influenza pandemic, or the war nurse who stitches up one victim after the other or the leader of the stagecoach bandits stealing the wealthy victims jewels.

I can feel any emotion- anticipation, loss, love, heartache, joy, victory, peace, strength, reconciliation.

Once caught within its grasp, turning anyway becomes a matter of mind versus will. The mind keeps turning-imagining the next sequence of events; while the will demands you set the book aside for greater responsibilities-those of reality.

Some days I win, others I succumb. It isn't a matter of failure but rather a test of maturity. What do I value? Sleep? A walk down memory lane? Growing My relationship with God?

Motivations

What's your motivation? 

Arguably we like to claim pure motives, religious cause, social justice, or however we want to be seen by others. But what is that split second thought that slips through your mind when you don't want to do something, but convince yourself to? "Oo, I hope I get a pay raise." "Hmm I smell an overdue promotion, maybe this will help my boss to see it too." or "I'm a great leader, others need to realize it too." 

When our motives are all self promotions, visions for one's life, and how to work my way to heaven, Frustration is inevitably the end result. Not to mention burnout, anger at God, disunity and offense.

What happens when you are working in a place with no raises, no promotions, and the only leadership opportunities means more serving; or working with that mentality? 

This is a kingdom work: God's Kingdom. 

He calls you and me to work without thought to self-originated goals and recognition, but in line with His plans and under His authority. In being a leader, whether spiritual or not, we are to lead by an example of service to others, without our own agenda clouding our thoughts. Christ was the perfect example of leading by serving, and not according to his agenda, but according to the agenda of the Father. 

Proverbs 3:5-7a "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes."

Walls

People are fragile, frail at best. We claim the facade of being strong, climbing the ladders the world has placed around us, yet at the slightest hurt we begin to crumble. The crumble begins deep within, within the inner orafices of the human heart. With each crack, crumble and slash, another layer is added to the outside wall, hoping to keep it from a complete cave in.
Some are not good builders and a crumble slips through many layers of cracks; and the world identifies them as the weakest link. Yet these are the ones whose pain that is seen is real, yearning for compassion and a lending hand to stem the avalanche. These are the ones who live in open pain, and cause loud pain for the world to see. They are the suicidal, homicidal, cutters, addicts,....
The ones whose walls are well intact merely stay away from the collapsing, mocking their weakness yet fearing it will cause themselves to be weak. They are the ones to fear the most, for while they appear healthy, going strong in the race, their unspoken turmoil causes an everlasting damage. Their influence driven by their inner pain is the judge and blindness that guides their lives. They are the abusers, the angry yellers, the ones who say you'll never be good enough, the gossips liars cheaters, the sarcastic belittlers...
The third people are the revered, the envied, for while their numbers are few, the desire to be one is deep and great. They require a strength above all, a faith beyond reason; for they live with no wall. Their heart is bared to the world, to speak their testimony. Yet while their testimony of a healed heart is seen by the world, the visibility of every scratch, scar, imperfection, and bleeding holes causes many to mock the idea of a wall-less heart, and with the mocking- a strong temptation to rebuild a wall. They are the meek, the innocent children, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, the sons of God .

NomaD

On the inside I'm different,
the outside the same;
or wait is it the other way?

On the outside I'm different,
the inside the same,
Keep moving don't stay.

You miss home,
but it's not what it used to be,
people keep changing.

You want to go back,
where you are today,
but nobody knows what shaped me.

The issue's the heart, mind and soul,
tired of being partial,
wanting to be known whole.